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Wednesday, November 28, 2012

A Horse Walks Into A Bar

In the beginning of time there were only two jokes. Number One. Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because there was a Chipotle on the other side. Number Two. A man walks into a bar. Ow. Fuck. That really hurt. The question was, how could more jokes be created? The Galactic Council took on the issue. This included, the Norse Gods who made really bad ass book adaptations. The Greek Gods who were sexy and they knew it. Then there were the Buddhist Gods who’s deity oddly resembled the non-existent child of Don Rickles and Santa Claus. The Council decided that bartenders and human-like animals made for great comedy. So they put the “Chicken Crosses the Road” joke and “Man walks into a Bar” joke into a candle lit room with rose peddles to walk upon and silk sheets to slumber in. The chicken, who turned out to be a marathon runner, and the man, who turned out to be an alcoholic, did something that most farm animals get paid 50 dollars to do the whatever stuff and 100 dollars for the oh my God we really just did that stuff. The result of this night was the third joke that the galaxy had the honor of witnessing. A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks. Why the long face?     

Knowing how to Love

If there is one skill that I would want you to have that makes you a better christian I would have to say that it would be knowing how to love.not loving your family or loving your friends closest to you but knowing how to love people that have wronged you and people that have done you harm. I wish I could say the world was full of Gandhi's and Mother Teresa's, but its not. so in spite of that fact we as Christians need to learn how to love. believe it or not you are not born with the skill to love. it is something that grows over time. for 9 months a mother carries her unborn child within her womb. and during that time she learns how to love. she learns how to open her heart and except that the child that grows within her will not always make her happy but it is her job to love that child and protect that child. so think of love as a child. growing within you day by day. becoming stronger and stronger. until one day that love is released into the world and even after you are gone from this world that love lives on.

The Life and Times of Turkey Jones

My name is Turkey Jones. 
This farm is where this birdie roams. 

They lay my poor fellow farm animals with collars. 
And so I yell and I scream and I cry and I holler.

As they race my brothers to the slaughter. 
Like were no better then cannon fodder.  

And I so I howl out to the skies up above. 
Where have they gone, all the ones that I love. 

Where has my father gone off to?
I ask the one who goes moo. 

Last Thanksgiving, I lost my sister. 
Oh how I’ve missed her. 

Around this time of year.
Friends start to disappear.

Long and hard I search.
Across every church and perch. 

Wider grows my frown.
As I go from town to town.

Oh God love and loss is muddy. 
I want to find somebody. 

So I drag myself across the cobble.
Gobble Gobble. 

A Darwinist's Perspective

Don’t tell me that I’m heartless because I’m only being the best human I can be. While the old, the sick, the poor and the ignorant are being cuddled remember that we are going against our natural human instincts. Its inhumane to care for the weak when the abilities of the strong are being wasted when by now we as the human race could have a galactic empire, with colonial settlements on a thousand worlds. So do not tell me that I am the evil one because I say its evil to hold someone back from their true potential. I will die a thousand times over to see this future become a reality. So don’t call me selfish. I am a humanist and all I care about is our people. The human people. My narcissism and selfishness is a fa├žade. It is only to hide my true personality. The personality of a revolutionary. Because if I didn’t have my subtle narcissism then I would I would be making an example out of you right now. I would break your bones and leave you in the school yard. Then I would have the fear that builds empires. The greatest empires in history. Fear is a leader’s greatest ally. I am not a communist but I admire Mao Zedong for making China the second greatest power in the world. At what cost you may ask? 20 Million lives were lost. But in China they call it progress. I could make that kind of progress. I will make that kind of progress. I always told myself that I wouldn’t be that kind of leader. But look at history. The proof is in the pudding. I don’t like the fact that the world is like this. But I accept it. Rainbows and ponnies. Oh I wish I lived in that version of Earth. But I don’t. and I’m not sure if that version of Earth exists. It never will. And unlike most in this world, I accept that. 

Your Sins Won’t Bring Me Down

A thousand fires. 
Started by a thousand liars.
The world is full of trickery.
And its sick to me.
Devil’s around every crevis.
Sad circumstances.
And sorry saps.
We are all victims to the selfish.
They serve their poison on a silver dish.
Damn all those who have wronged me.
I wish to punish, oh I have longed thee.
The world’s a scary place.
Though I’ve only had a small taste.
You know its all a waste.
If you live without lesson.
That’s all I’m confessing.
For so long I never cared.
But now I’m scared.
The sinners sin like their the devil’s minions.
Does anyone give a damn about my opinions.
I’m biting my nails ripping out my fucking hair.
All I want to do is throw a fucking chair.
I’m gonna shed the world a tear.
Cause I shutter in fear.
God please its time to kick it into high gear.
The red god sings from town to town.
But your sins wont bring me down.

After the Ashes

After the bombs dropped nothing was ever the same. We became slaves to our hatred of one another and we ended up destroying ourselves in the process. I never thought mankind who ever be crazy enough to go through with it. Everyone talked a big game. Now the cultures that we thought were superior to one another have all perished in the flames. In our effects to spread our values to foreign lands we left the foundation in ruins. How can you say the system is not flawed when it leads to this kind of mass destruction. It is a genocide mankind has enacted upon itself. I somehow convinced myself that we were humble creatures. But now the truth and me can no longer avoid one another. I should have known. The signs were all there. Wars in every generation. Bigotry in every heart. How can we achieve prosperity with odds like these? If we give into nature does all Mother Earth have in return for us is a bag of bones. Is violence embedded within our very souls? Do we embody anything other than monsters? Are we all lions in the mirror? Is peace a virtue sought out by any? My hope has flown has flown away like a vulture. It seems to pick at me for a while and then it’s gone. I used to see hope as my savior from this God awful broken down wasteland of a world. Now it is an annoyance. A pet peeve that rings in my ear like the crying of a young child. So in the sands of time lay the history of a once great people. The story of struggle, innovation and brotherhood. All lost in the blink of an eye. For what? For what? For our stubborn ignorance. It is a pity. Could things have been different? No. We have always headed down this path. A path of self destruction. A path of self mutilation. A path. A path of sprinkled ashes.

Sunday, November 18, 2012


Into Alice’s Wonderland I Shall Go
Where it Leads me Nobody Knows
Down the Rabbit Hole
Pay no Toll
Into your Soul
Now here’s your Goal
Adventure Around
But don’t make a Sound
The Red Queen Lurks
She gets all the Perks
Oh that Queen
She is so Mean
And She Owns all the Green
But there was One Teen
A Blonde of Fifteen
New World New Scene
Now my Head is Heavy
And it feels like My Eyes have Been Run Over by a Chevy
It’s a Burning in my Lungs
Into the Matrix, Under the Rugs
There is a Gate
Red, Blue, Two Pills Await
Small, Big
Hey look it's a Tree on a Fig