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Thursday, June 8, 2017

Comedy

you know sometimes I look in the mirror and I say, "Who the fuck do you think you are?"
And I realize Im high, and I cant remember my own name. 

you know who really got good head? 
Lee Harvey Oswald

You know what jeffrey dahmer and Bill clinton have in common? 
Theyre both super famous for getting really good head. 

Joseph Goebbels, Hitler's Minister of Media, had a PhD in Philosophy. See! It's not true what they say, Liberal Arts Majors can be very successful!

Whats the similiarity between me and Vietnam? 
I always pull out at the last second. 
^
My girlfriend hates that joke. 
Probably because Planned Parenthood just stopped doing their buy one get one free deals. 

What do Jay-lo and Julius Caesar have in common? 
They both had their pussies beaten by Mark Anthony. 

What do you call a boy that wants to be a girl? 
A faggot. 

What do you call a salad with no ranch dressing? 
Grass

God, dont you hate that feeling of home sickness? 
When you're near your Mom's vagina. 

Why do you kids in High School get bullied? 
Because their fat.
^
HS logic. shes not fat enough to bully. there are fatter ppl to bully. 

Whats the difference between santa claus and a black father? 

Santa Claus comes to visit once a year.